{Not so} Merry Christmas News.

I will keep today’s post as brief as possible, because I am feeling a little down and don’t want to drag anyone down with me. I did, however, really want to document this change in status for my hubby and I, as it is an important step.

Yesterday we got the results from Jas’ second round of testing. It turns out that even though everything is working well for me, it isn’t for him. Without getting into any graphic details, he has high volume, low count and a very low percentage of ‘guys’ moving forward the correct way. What we were told for now is that we have the option to try a couple rounds of IUI using hubby’s ‘material’ or we could try IUI with a donor. The problem with using hubby’s ‘stuff’ is that our chance of it working will be lower than a normal IUI. I believe our doctor told us that the normal chance of an IUI working was 15%…not sure how much lower is lower for us.

Here is how I am feeling:

  1. Relieved that we finally know what is wrong. After two years of just hoping nothing was wrong, but having that dark feeling in the back of our minds, it feels good to at least know the reason behind our struggles.
  2. Sad to know that our chances of having a child that is 100% both of ours is very little. Jas told me last night that “it’s hard to wrap his head around the idea that even when we have a baby, it will just be (mine), not (his).” That broke my heart into little tiny pieces. I feel so bad that he has to go through those feelings.
  3. Scared to begin the process of trying rounds of IUI. A tiny little corner of my brain was trying to stay happily unaware of reality and thought maybe it would still happen naturally for us. But the full weight of reality has set in now and I am very nervous of trying the treatments. Only the future will tell…

I swear I am still working on projects! In fact, I just finished hubby’s christmas present album (JUST IN TIME to use the Shutterfly coupon…this little Christmas Elf saved $47 on his gift!) and I will share that when I get another spare moment. I am a couple days behind on December Daily and will work on that tonight. I am also still a couple of weeks shy of being current in my PL album…but hope to finish those by the first week of January! I CANNOT wait to order my 2012 digi album!! The anticipation is killing me! I also started a special little project for myself, that when I get up the courage I will share as well!!

I hope everyone is enjoying their holiday season and making wonderful memories in the small moments! Take care!